a pensieve

fleeting

after yesterday’s event, today is comparably a bad day.

I attended an interview this morning, and it felt like all my remaining self-esteem and self-confidence were sucked out of me. I didn’t know what happened inside that conference room. At some point, I remembered that my mind went blank. I was literally staring at my interviewer hoping that she’d repeat her question.

I just feel so bad that I asked (to no one in particular) “Why can’t I be happy even just for at least 2 consecutive days.” Bawal ba yun?!?!

I just tried to console myself by thinking, ‘if I can’t be happy for a long time, therefore, I will again be happy in no time’. Everything is just temporary.

Of all the days, I happened to read this in EAT PRAY LOVE (p.272), it was as if it’s talking to me and I would like to share this with you:

“… people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you are fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment. It’s easy enough to pray when you’re in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.

This is hard to put into action, but I am willing to practice it in my life. Hopefully, something good will come out of it Ü

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